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Here's One I Baked Earlier...

29/1/2020

24 Comments

 
Would you like a little taster of something I prepared earlier 😊?
Well, this is what it's about:

AN OBSTINATE, HEADSTRONG GIRL
...and a very busy lane to Longbourn
Picture
But before we go to Longbourn, let's go to the Netherfield ball (where some are having much less fun than others).

His lips so stiff that I wonder how he is able to speak, Mr. Darcy declares, “Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends. Whether he may be equally capable of retaining them is less certain.”

I am astounded at his audacity. Mightily provoked, too. So, I heatedly retort, “He has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship―and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life.”

Mr. Darcy makes to speak, as do I. I have a great deal more to say. But I am denied the opportunity thanks to my infernal cousin, who has been stumbling along the dance nearby, hand in hand with Mary.

“The other way, Mr. Collins!” I hear my sister urge him but to no avail. The buffoon does not heed her. He careers into me and his clumsy foot lands heavily on mine.

​I try to not yelp in pain―and fail abysmally.
*****
“My deepest apologies, sir!” Mr. Collins says to my disagreeable partner for the fourth time, as if it had been Mr. Darcy’s foot that he had crushed.

​I dart my eyes heavenward. Some wretched neighbour, whom I cannot detest enough, must have informed my cousin of Mr. Darcy’s connection to Mr. Collins’s revered patroness, and he is now paying more assiduous court to Lady Catherine’s nephew than to Mary.

“Pray allow me, sir,” my cousin pleads, seeking to spare Mr. Darcy the tedious task of supporting me as I hobble ignominiously from the set.


“I would say you have done enough,” Mr. Darcy verily growls, refusing to be supplanted, and for once I am almost glad. I would rather lean on his arm than my cousin’s. Mr. Collins would be so concerned with gaining Mr. Darcy’s pardon that he might steer me into the potted plants or forget about me altogether. “Return to the set, sir, and your partner,” Mr. Darcy orders him, not deigning to acknowledge Mary’s look of gratitude at that suggestion. Nor does he acknowledge Mr. Collins’s fifth apology―or was it the sixth?―as he guides me towards the nearest armchair. He turns it at a better angle, and I lower myself into it―ungainly, I fear, but most gratefully.

I glance up at Mr. Darcy and thank him for his assistance, but he cuts me off with a perfunctory, “Not at all,” then asks, “How badly are you hurt?”

He does not wait for my reply but drops down on one knee for a closer look. I gape. The man has lost his senses! But my discomfort flares into utter horror when he reaches out, as if aiming to raise the hem of my dress and see the damage for himself―along with half the ballroom.

“Stand, sir!” I hiss as I tuck my injured foot under the chair, which only serves to send worse pain shooting through it. I bite my lip and hiss again, “Pray stand and leave be. You are making a scene. Desist, for goodness’ sake!”

“I rather thought that the blame for making a scene lies with Mr. Collins,” he resentfully shoots back.

​​“And do you imagine 
this is helping matters?” I fulminate in a fierce whisper with a gesture of anger and frustration towards his unchanged posture.
Finally, he rises to his feet.

“Forgive me for thinking of your welfare and not the impertinent curiosity of busybodies,” he says testily, then asks, “Is there anything you wish me to do? Fetch your mother, perhaps?”

“Heavens, no!” I reply without thinking. If Mr. Collins’s blunder and Mr. Darcy kneeling at my feet had not quite managed to attract everyone’s attention, Mama’s ill-judged effusions would surely do the trick.

I look around, hoping against hope that the incident escaped her notice, but a familiar cry of “Oh, Lizzy!” puts paid to such foolish notions.

​I cringe, waiting for the onslaught, and make no reply to Mr. Darcy as he takes his leave.

Cover reveal and preorders coming soon - on Feb 18. 
Stay tuned for #OHG news and other tasty titbits.
24 Comments
Karen M Cox link
31/1/2020 10:05:11 am

Well, it’s November 26th, it seems, and the gang’s all here and doing what they do :) I wonder how E’s injury will change the story?

Reply
Joana Starnes
31/1/2020 12:48:13 pm

LOL, yes, it's Nov 26th and they're all there doing their thing.

Thanks, Karen! Hope the change gives people a giggle or two.

Reply
Deborah
31/1/2020 01:24:40 pm

A new book? Soon? I couldn’t hope for better news on such a cold and dreary day! Surely Mr. Darcy does not rush off to London without assuring himself of Elizabeth’s recovery from her injury? Can’t wait!

Reply
Joana Starnes
31/1/2020 03:35:05 pm

Thanks SOO much!

"Surely Mr. Darcy does not rush off to London without assuring himself of Elizabeth’s recovery from her injury?" Surely not!!!! ;)

Reply
Vesper
31/1/2020 02:09:52 pm

I do hope that you are not pairing Mary and Collins, as I don't read those stories even if it is just a throw away line

Reply
Joana Starnes
31/1/2020 03:42:05 pm

Oh dear, sorry to hear that. I always thought it would be a win-win for the Bennets, being able to keep Longbourn in the family. Or maybe I should say a win-win-win, keeping Longbourn and seeing Jane and Lizzy happily married too. But poor Charlotte, then she'll really be an old maid (unless she meets someone interesting when she visits Mrs Darcy).

Reply
Anngela Schroeder-Author.
31/1/2020 02:28:31 pm

Yay! My prayers have been answered! A new Joana book is percolating! 😊

Reply
Joana Starnes
31/1/2020 03:43:38 pm

Awww, Anngela, thanks so much!!

Yep, there's some percolating going on ;)

Reply
Christina Boyd
31/1/2020 03:55:23 pm

It is always a good day when Joana Starnes has something in the works! XO

Reply
Joana Starnes
31/1/2020 03:58:44 pm

Thanks, Christina!! For everything!

Reply
Glynis
31/1/2020 04:53:49 pm

Oh dear! Poor Elizabeth! And just when Darcy might have been about to warn her of Wickham? Damn that Mr Collins and his abysmal dancing skills, which when mixed with his desire to worship Darcy, prove to be detrimental to Elizabeth’s health?
Keep up the great work Joana 😉🥰

Reply
Joana Starnes
31/1/2020 05:13:19 pm

LOL Mr Collins and his brand of worship :)))

Maybe Darcy gets his wish and ties him to a chair 😉.

Thanks so much, Glynis!!

Reply
Rose
31/1/2020 06:51:29 pm

Collins apologizing to Darcy when Elizabeth is the one he injured -- how obtuse can that man be?

Always look forward to another story from Joana Starnes!

Reply
Joana Starnes
2/2/2020 07:30:39 am

Spoiling Mr Darcy's enjoiment of the evening, ah, the horror!!! What would Lady Catherine say? (LOL he should have figured out that she'd probably thank him keeping Lizzy away from Darcy :D.)

Thanks so much, Rose, for your wonderful words and for reading the post!!

Reply
Michelle David
31/1/2020 09:05:30 pm

Oooh can't wait to see what happens next!

Reply
Joana Starnes
2/2/2020 07:32:36 am

Thanks, Michelle!! I'm so glad! I hope you'll like it.

Reply
Patty Edmisson link
3/2/2020 03:09:11 am

This is exciting. Maybe there will be a conversation sooner rather than later between Lizzy and Darcy ...

Reply
Joana Starnes
4/2/2020 08:54:41 pm

Hope you'll have fun listening to them, Patty :)
Thanks for reading!

Reply
Christina Morland link
12/2/2020 03:14:08 pm

I love it! This line is just so Mr. Darcy: "“Forgive me for thinking of your welfare and not the impertinent curiosity of busybodies." Goodness, I love snarkiness in (fictional) men! Thanks for the delicious excerpt, Joana!

Reply
Joana Starnes
16/2/2020 07:15:21 am

LOL 100% with you there about the snarkiness of fictional men :D
Thanks for reading the snippet, Christina! I'm so glad you liked it!!

Reply
Michelle H
23/2/2020 06:17:12 am

I read it! Sqeeeeee!!! I loved it I just loved it. You are the bee's knees, Joana.

Reply
Joana Starnes
25/2/2020 10:39:53 am

HUGE thanks, Michelle!! I'm SO happy you loved it!!

Reply
Anna
29/12/2020 10:32:15 pm

Being a big fan of your books for several months (since discovering JAFF) I'm ashamed that I encountered this site only now. And the last entry is from alost 1 year ago :-(. And this is such a lovely story! What happened next? Is it an extract of your next book? I haven't seen any new book of yours in 2020...

Reply
Joana Starnes
20/1/2021 11:57:48 am

I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying my books, Anna! Thanks so much!! I'm glad you found the site, and that you liked this excerpt. It's from 'The Uncommonly Busy Lane to Longbourn,' a short story I wrote for the 'Elizabeth, Obstinate, Headstrong Girl' anthology edited by Christina Boyd. I hope you'll like it. My latest full-lengh novel was 'A Timely Elopement, which came out in June 2020, but that was it for last year. Hope the one I'm working on at the moment won't keep me busy till the end of 2021 :)
All the best and thanks for reading!

Reply



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